So Long

So long as I do what you want
So long as I say what you want to hear
So long as you get what you want from me
So long as there are benefits to being near me or with me
So long as I serve a purpose you deem important
Then I am worth something to you
Otherwise, I’m nothing to you



I am worth LESS than the girlfriend you chose over me

I am worth LESS than the booze I bought thinking we were “friends”

I am worth LESS than the money you stole while we were “friends”

I am worth LESS than the debt I incurred caring for our child while we were married

I am worth LESS than the courtesy of honest communication

I am worth LESS than the truth of why the classes were “taken care of”

I am worth LESS than the myriad of things you choose over spending time with me, even special occaisions like my birthday or mother’s day

i am worthless


Not sure how to begin really… should I start today and go back as best I can – that may mean me jumping around randomly; or do I try to pick a point in the past and go forward from there; or perhaps, by topic?  I used to love to write and I could do so endlessly, but the last several, maybe 8 years or so, I can’t bring myself to write much of anything beyond a grocery list.  😦

Getting started

This is my very first blog and I have no idea what to write about, so I am just writing the thoughts in my head, yet ironically, nothing is coming to mind.  Isn’t that the way it goes as you get older.  When you try to think of something, nothings there, but when you go to lay down for the night, all these thoughts just keep running through your head.

Anyway, my first effort is sad, but done.  🙂